A New Perspective

My students are amazing individuals. They go through lots of ups and downs.  They each have their own sets of heartaches, and hurts, and happinesses. They are forced to deal with  so much..deaths, family issues, divorce, abuse, relationships, friendships, peer pressure, body image, depression, health issues...and are still expected to show up every single day, ready to learn.

This year, I decided to stray from the normal character analysis I do 1st term.  Actually, I decided to stray from the whole formalized essay all together, and instead, I allowed my students do a creative writing piece, written in a mosaic-type format, similar to that of The House on Mango Street.   As an English teacher who has focused primarily on formal informational/analytical type writing, this was a difficult shift. I have never taught creative writing before! I had to let go of control.  I had to let go of formality. Heck, I even had to let go of proper grammar and sentence structure. 

However, I am so glad I did it. I was absolutely blown away with what my students produced.  I have always thought of my students as people first and I try and remember that my class is only a portion of their very complex lives.  But, reading these gave me an even better sense of who they are.  It was like looking through a camera lens and being able to see snapshots of each of their lives. Writing these showed a lot of vulnerability.  Many students opened up to me (and their peers) and trusted us with some pretty deep stuff.
(For more information on the assignment, go here )

They were so good, in fact, that I asked a few of them if I could share their writing so that you all could have the same privilege I have had in reading these. Not all of them said yes, but some did.  I promised they would remain anonymous.  Here are a three different students' pieces:

Baby Rattlers

Mommy doesn’t sleep. I always sleep near her, and she doesn’t sleep. My rest is bombarded by her midnight missions. She prances across the carpet. A confused slur of urgency. I am sensitive to her movements. Every impression on the floor stirs me. Mommy always goes to find her purse.  Why does she need her purse at this hour? She is not leaving. She pinky swore she wouldn't leave. Sometimes I think she is spitting all her dreams into the crevices of that purse, because she never sleeps, they must go somewhere. She has to release all of the unconscious energy somehow.

I hear her shaking baby rattlers. I don’t understand. I hear her drop a tic tac on the kitchen floor. Mommy always has candy with her. She keeps candy in orange bottles that my adolescent fingers cannot open. She doesn’t share. Sometimes I know she is eating too much candy because she vomits. I know she tries not to wake me. Mommy thinks I sleep through the rattlers.

She makes her way back. And every step is deafening to me. I know she is not asleep, but her mind is in another place. Sometimes her eyes are closed. I know mommy always tries to be quiet, she does. But her words are slippery, and I don’t know who she’s talking to. No one else seems to hear her at night. Only me, I am alone. I try to ignore what she does at night, but I can’t pry my brown eyes that look like hers, off of mommy. She sits up all night and swats at the air. Mommy is silly. I think she sees fruit flies behind her eyelids. I think she hears voices that speak in a language that only she comprehends.

I just want Mommy to sleep, and wake in the morning.

If Scales Could Speak

         “Age is just a number,” said someone who feels old. “I’m vertically challenged.” Said someone who feels too short. However, if a scale could speak, the numbers would be a foreign language, translated to say too much, or too little. Scales are like the new exchange student, and their interpreters are peoples doctors and nurses. Their job, is to take whatever the scale said and make us understand it. Sometimes they even have to take whatever was said bluntly, and make it socially acceptable. Doctors do it all the time. Lay down the facts, sprinkle on a sugar coat, and the cycle repeats. “Well, your weight is above the range it should be for your age so we’ll put you on this”. But what we all here is, "You're fat, let's try to make you normal." As if a bottle of pills can repair the damage that’s already been done by staring at the numbers between my feet. So like a typical “moody” teen girl. I just put in my headphones so that I can listen to a language that I actually understand: Music.

Sunday

This time it was four months, and we went out again. It was Sunday. Early evening. You look beautiful, he says looking at the braided updo my mother helped me with and looking at the earrings he bought me the previous day and looking at my eyes. The green eyes that he tells me he loves. We walked to the restaurant. He held the door for me. Holding hands and having an actual conversation. Why did we ever worry about not being normal? Why did I always reject him? Why did I chase around the other boys who only cared about looks and popularity? Why did I think I was lonely and that nobody loved me, when there had always been someone there? The boy in the background who was rejected by the girl of his dreams time after time, but still waited for her. On that one Sunday evening, I realized that he was perfect. He was perfect for me, not only for looks or for a relationship status, but for friendship. I realized, this is my best friend. I realized, I love him.

A Beautiful Gift

Today was a happy day.  My 2 kids and I were able to spend a few hours visiting with 2 of my former students who took time out of their busy schedules to hang out with us.  In addition to great company and lots of laughs, they also brought me a gift...Starbucks, a coffee mug, and some chocolates, which were so appreciated. Today, I truly got the most beautiful gift and the best gift EVER!                                                                                                                               

But, the best gift I received wasn't the coffee or the adorable mug (which I am so excited to use by the way). Rather, it was the company of these 2 amazing ladies whom I am still close with today. It was knowing that somehow, someway I had enough of an impact (or still do have an impact in their lives) that they would want to take time out of their winter break to visit with an old teacher...an old teacher who makes them talk about school, and reading, and classes, of all things!  I am so blessed to have these former students and others still in my life.

I am a high school teacher, so in my 11 years of teaching, I have received very few tangible gifts.  Maybe a homemade treat thrown my way, or a box of chocolates here or there. But, I have received an immeasurable amount of gifts of kinds words and and gratitude from students. Such as:

My 9th graders who tell me they have never liked an English class before until having mine.

A 10th grader who stops by and tells me he misses my class, even though he barely passed and I assumed he couldn't stand it. 

A freshman who tells me that I'm the first teacher who's ever gotten her to read (and even like!) a book.

My former students who thank me for the help on the AP test when the receive their scores...even though they were the ones that truly did the work!

A senior I no longer have who tells me she was so glad she had me junior year.

A senior who thanks me for helping them with their college essays when they get into the college of their choice.

A graduating senior who asks to take a picture with me on graduation and tells me I was her favorite teacher. 

My many former students who come back and tell me that they feel extremely well prepared in college.  

The random emails, facebook messages, or tweets I get when a student sees a grammar error and just can't help cringe after going through Mrs. Soper's grammar boot camp. :)

A former student who tells me they admire me as more than just a teacher, but as a person.

The former student who tells me that I was one of the people that helped in her recovery from self-harm. 

My former students who donate books to help build my classroom library.

The former student who tells me that one of my favorite books, which he hated at first, inspired him to meet the author!

When my former students come back to talk to my classes.

The former students who ask me to have drinks or even buy me a shot (yes, it's true) when I'm out. 

And finally, my former student who told me that my words had helped him through a tragedy.

I am a high school teacher.  I do not receive many gift cards, or candles, or coffee mugs, or cookies.  Instead, I receive much much more.  I receive the gift of watching these students turn into beautiful adults, and sometimes, if I'm lucky, they acknowledge my help somewhere along the way.

What Makes for a Fabulous Day in Teacher World?

Teaching is not easy, and although I love my job, I often come home feeling exhausted and sometimes upset, even on the good days.  But somehow, someway, today was just the most perfectly fabulous teacher day ever.  So, what made it so great? Here are a few things.

1. My students were engaged.  

Students work on gallery walk 

I simply have a great group of students this trimester.  Combine that with interesting lessons or topics, and sometimes the heavens just open up and all seems right in the classroom.  Today, my 9th graders did a gallery walk using quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird and pictures representing the Great Depression.  My AP students had an awesome discussion on Beloved  and the use of prose techniques that left me giddy with all of their wonderful insight.  

One finished piece of gallery walk work

2. My former students contacted me

For some reason, today it worked out that I had quite a few former students stop by and visit.  These aren't students who've graduated, just ones who no longer have me and wanted to say hi. Sometimes they seem to forget who I am the minute they walk out my classroom at the end of those 12 weeks, but today I felt the love.  I also have been in contact with some of my graduates and it is so rewarding to hear how well they are doing as they complete their first semester of college.

3. I was told I was a good teacher.  

I had a couple guests in my classroom today and both told me I was a good teacher.  It's amazing how little we hear that and how awesome it feels when we do.

4. I had meaningful Professional Development Time with colleagues.  

Although we work with 50 other teachers in our building, it's actually rare that we get to talk to many of them!  It's also rare that we get PD of our own choice and interest during the school day.  Today, we were fortunate enough to have the amazing Alaina Sharp from the Jackson ISD come in and provide us with a Tweet and Eat.  Teachers learned more about Twitter and also had delicious food.  It left me feeling rejuvenated, just like when I go to a conference.  And did I mention the food was delicious?

Our Tweet and Eat lunch...and yes, that's a photo bomb by Mrs. Hoffbauer. 

5. I was given resources for my classroom.

Not only did Alaina deliver some great PD today (and food...did I mention the food?), she also came and gifted me some books from her former classroom. Words cannot express how much it means to me to receive book donations when I have been saving, scrimping, and budgeting as I try and decide what books to buy next for my classroom.  Since we do not get a budget for things like choice novels, I have to use my own money, and lately I've been spending too much on books.  How wonderful to be given materials for my students in a time where resources are so scarce!  And when I told a couple students in my 5th hour that I had some new graphic novels, they couldn't wait to dig into the box, which made it all the more exciting for me.

What's interesting about these 5 things is that they all seem like relatively simple and small acts. But, these types of things can make all the difference in a day, a week, a career, even.  How can we allow teachers to be supported, valued, and given the resources to create more and more fabulous days in teacher world?

Students Were So Engaged..with Poetry??!!

Yesterday, I came home with a warm, fuzzy feeling.  It was one of those days were my 9th grade students just GOT it.  They were engaged in meaningful conversations, they were respectfully questioning each other, and they were referring back to their text to prove their points. All the awesome things that as I teacher I WANT them to do!  As I walked around the classroom, I literally had goosebumps forming as I heard such bright and insightful questions and comments.

What I am even more proud of is that these amazing conversations came out as students were looking at poetry.  Now, I must admit, poetry is not my favorite thing to teach, largely in part because when students find out we are reading a poem, I am often met with groans and eye rolls. For some reason, most students (not all) have an aversion to poetry and it's sometimes hard to get them going with it because of it.

My job, as a teacher, is to talk them down off the metaphorical ledge that poetry forces them onto, and make them realize it's not as scary as they think. One of the first ways I do this is by giving them a song to analyze as I play the music.  I usually start with a popular song in the last couple years, and have them look for (1) what they think the main message of the song is and (2) what specific evidence (lines) makes them think this.  Last year, I used the song "Royals" by Lorde, and I continued with it this year as well because the students did such a great job with it.  It is amazing how much they are willing to analyze and pull out of a pop song but how much they shut down sometimes with poetry!

Then, after we discuss the song fully, we talk about how songs are actually similar to poetry.  I always praise them for their analysis and explain that all they need to do is transfer those skills over to a poem.  After that, we start a poem.  When I give them a poem, I have specific things that I want them to look for and mark up (ex: rhyme scheme, repetition, alliteration, to name a few) and then I have them also mark up the text, trying to figure out meaning.  Even though students sometimes resist this last step, it is SO crucial to aid them in their understanding!  I think my students this year are more adept at marking the text, which is why I think their conversations were perhaps so rich.

Then, once they struggle with the text individually, they work together as a group to figure out meaning and answer the questions that accompany it. And yesterday, that was where the magic happened.  I was so proud of my students for their engagement, their conversation, and above all, their commitment to the poem. 

I think it's important to remember that good teaching is not always about big projects and flashy props that take lots of time to set up.  Good teaching and a successful day can be something as simple as students reading, talking, and just getting it. It was one of those lovely moments where I, as the teacher, could truly sit back and watch them teach themselves...and about poetry of all things!

The Top 10 Things New Teachers Don't Know...Yet

Ahhh...the perils er, joys of a new school year!  Each year, I have similar thoughts, fears, and sleepless nights, and despite the fact that I am now starting my 11th year, they hold on tight!  This year, we were fortunate to hire quite a few new teachers in our high school.  And most of them are new, new.  Like, right off the boat new.  So, as I tried to quell my anxious self, I began to think about these new teachers and how they are just now taking a step into the amazing world of teaching and all the things they don't know and will soon find out.  In order to help them, I've decided to make a list of the top 10 things that new teachers don't know...yet.

10. There is no exhaustion like the first week of school exhaustion.  You will be sore in places you didn't know you could be sore, like your eyelashes.  Your body will ache.  You will be hot and sticky from your non air-conditioned, windowless classroom.  If you make it to Friday, you will desire nothing more than to go home and face plant yourself into your bed at 5pm and perhaps stay there until Sunday. 

9. You will also lose your voice, or at least your throat will hurt.  Don't worry...time strengthens those vocal chords and you will be yelling like a champion teacher in no time.

8. You will experience things you never thought you would.  Even if you had an amazing student teaching experience that was rich and full, you will still have challenges, surprises, and obstacles that are new and shocking.

7. Speaking of student teaching, remember how busy you were?  Remember how it seemed like there was so much to do and never enough time?  Well, take that and multiply it by 100. Yes, student teaching is absolutely busy, but there were all sorts of things that magically got done and now YOU are the one that has to do them.  Things like setting up the gradebook or going to meetings or sifting through all the emails to find the ones that are REALLY important.

6. Oh, and speaking of emails, reply all is the devil.  Just wait. 

5. You will cry at some point.

4. Remember that copy machine that didn't seem so far away during the days before students got here?  Well, when you all of a sudden realize that you have 31 kids and only have 29 copies because new students were added between the time you printed off the list last night and this morning,  the copy machine is now 14,000 miles away.  I am not exaggerating.  And those heels that seemed fine when you put them on this morning, just don't cut it anymore.  

3. You will enjoy snow days as a teacher more than you EVER did as a student. EVER.

2. Your colleagues, especially the ones you hired in with, will understand you like no one does.  You are each in your own classroom but you are all fighting the same battle day in and day out and no one understands it like you do. The more senior teachers will be there to help and guide you, but you'll probably find yourself going to your peers more than your mentors.

1. At some point, you will lose your innocence, and your beliefs and mindset will be challenged. You may become disillusioned and frustrated with the profession. However, if you persevere through and try to find all the GOOD in education and amazing things going on, even among the struggles, you will succeed.  And you will have made it through your first year successfully...and hopefully have many, many more to come. 

A very warm welcome to our new Mountie hires at the high school!

Mountie Nation Opening Day

There's nothing like the teachers' first day back to start to really get excited about the upcoming school year.  And I'm sure it's like this in all districts, across all grade levels, throughout the entire country.  But I must say, no one does Opening Day quite like Mountie Nation.

I was hired at Northwest 10 years ago, and since the moment, it has always felt like home.  So much so, that I even told my principal that in my interview when asked why I wanted to come there.  In fact, it felt so much like home that I endured layoffs and pay cuts and hung through the toughest of times with Mountie Nation, despite the fact that others would tell me to get out.  And let me tell you, even though I have always been a proud supporter of my school, Mountie Nation is nothing like it was back when I was hired 10 years ago, and Opening Day is the perfect example.

When I first started, Opening Day was in a gym or a cafeteria.  There was an agenda, recognition of employees completing significant year milestones, introductions of new staff, and guest speakers. This is all still there, but now it is so much more.  Now, we walk into the First Church of the Nazarene for our Opening Day, and it is a sea of red and black.  There is music, and food, and SWAG, and videos, and posters, and signs, and balloons, and dancing, and socializing, and a ton of fun.  There is an energy in that room that is truly indescribable.  I mean honestly, I could try, but you wouldn’t be able to really grasp it unless you were there. At times, I am so struck by it all that it takes my breath a bit and causes me to get emotional. In fact, I had 2 separate interactions with newly hired teachers that just might give a little inkling to how unique it is.  Both of these teachers are new to our school but have been teaching in other districts for quite some time.  Both of them, separately, said something to me along the lines of, “this is unbelievable…this is not like anywhere else.” And it’s true.

Opening Day...this doesn't even give a slight idea of how awesome it is to be a part of.

4 years ago, we gained a superintendent who had a vision for Northwest.  He has a larger than life personality, and I think he wanted to make sure Northwest followed suit.  The day he came into our first Opening Day, he told us all to strive for greatness, and we have followed his lead and never looked back. In a time where it would be easy to look at all the negative things about education, our superintendent challenged us to create a positive culture, and so we followed his lead. We lift each other up, we support each other, and we are a team.  In fact, this is so important that he and our curriculum director spent a good couple hours just going over all the amazing things we have going on in our building and honoring and recognizing the incredible staff we have. And that’s everyone, from support staff, to teachers, to administrators.

Are we perfect? No.  Do we still have things we need to improve? Absolutely.  But, in a time where it is so tough to be in education, here I stand, ready to take on year 11, and I couldn’t be more excited.  I am so very grateful to be in a place where we are striving for greatness, where we have a positive culture, and where we are supported. I am so grateful to be a part of the greatness, a part of the Mountie Nation.

Being recognized for 10 years with my teaching friend Abby Tanner

A Kindergarten Welcome into High School

I went through a Mommy first this week.  I became a Mom to a kindergartner and I dropped my son off for the first time.  I must say, having a child start kindergarten is an experience like no other.  As a working mom, my kids have been going to daycare since they were babies, but there was something about kindergarten that made it different.  Something about the finality of it all, as he officially passed from the realm of a child into that of a big kid.  And I certainly wasn’t alone in my feelings. I watched as the other kindergarten moms (and dads) tried to hide the tears in their eyes.  I saw those precious last few moments of hugs and well wishes and encouragement. I was a bystander to the spur of the moment therapy group going on in the parking lot, as the moms reassured one another that it would all be okay, that their kids were in good hands.

 And you know what? Every single mom agreed.  My son is lucky enough to get an amazing kindergarten teacher who simply oozes love for children.  I have only known this woman for two days, but in just two days, this is overwhelmingly apparent.  Everything, from the first day “jitter bubbles” and poem that she gave out at Open House, to the kind words, to the extra moments she let parents sneak in final goodbyes, showed that their kids were in good hands, they were cared for, they were loved. I could not have asked for a better experience for my first time as a kindergarten mom.

My nephew is the same age and also embarking on kindergarten transition as well. My sister-in-law and I have been calling and texting and giving one another moral support as we cross this threshold.  However, my sister-in-law is also a mom of a new freshman to high school, and I think this transition is actually more difficult than the kindergarten one.  And as I had this lovely first day experience, I began thinking to myself about the high school transition.  Our freshmen and their parents are also transitioning to that new territory and leaving a stage behind, but unfortunately, they’re not always greeted with as warm of a welcome, with the hugs, with the smiles, and with the encouragement.  There’s not as much care in handling parents and helping them understand that their child will be okay.  We assume because they are in high school the students and parents don’t need that type of encouragement.  I’m thinking we are wrong.  I’m always surprised when parents or students comment on my classroom during Open House and tell me they like it.  I try to make it inviting, but I don’t think my classroom is anything that special.  But, I think they are trying to find some sort of encouragement and warmth, similar to that of elementary classrooms, and my classroom sometimes provides that. Sometimes my smile or my mannerisms may help them.  Sometimes it’s a friendly wave or hello in the hallway. 

No matter what, this year, as I meet my new students and their parents, I am going to remember myself in that kindergarten room and how welcomed and encouraged it made me feel, and I am going to do my very best to make my students and parents feel they are in a kindergarten classroom again too. 

My Kindergartner and Pre-Schooler 2015

Taking a Risk

Today, I took a huge risk.  I presented at a conference, and a technology conference at that!  I decided that since I am so passionate about Twitter and how I've used it in my classroom, it would be a great thing for me to present on.  Boy, was it nerve-racking being a first time presenter!  It made me gain a new appreciation for my students and how nervous they may be when they do presentations for the first time in my class.

But, here's the thing.  If I'm asking my students to take risks, shouldn't I be taking risks too? 

I took a risk today, and I'm happy I did.  It was awesome to connect with so many passionate educators today, as it always is whenever I attend PD.  Thanks to all of you who supported me by coming to my session or by tweeting or facebooking about me. I think the presentation went well, and I'm glad that I took that risk. 

Here are my slides about using Twitter in the classroom, entitled #iheartsocialmedia

#Iheartsocialmedia presentation

Conquering the 7 Year Itch

In marriage, they say there’s something called the “7 year itch.”  I never experienced this in my marital life, but I certainly did in my professional .  Amidst babies, and diapers, and sleepless nights, and nursing, school and my career just didn’t take precedence. It couldn’t. There simply were not enough hours in the day.  I vividly remember during my 7^th year of teaching, I had been up all night grading, and then up all night with a baby, and I had still had an insurmountable pile of work that I wasn’t able to get to.  As I met with my Accelerated Freshmen, I explained to them what I had been able to accomplish and what I hadn’t been able to.  Just as I was finishing up talking to them, a student arrived late and asked if projects were graded.  What was an innocent enough question was like a dagger to my heart, and it opened up a floodgate of tears, as I ran out of the room. I felt I would never be able to make it through the day, the week, let alone the profession.

Somehow I got through that year and moved to the next one. Somehow, even throughout all the struggles, I didn’t quit. Somehow, I learned and grew enough to keep going.  At the time, I didn’t realize how miserable I was (even though my husband would tell me) and how I had forgotten everything I loved about teaching.  I forgot to laugh and have fun.  I forgot to build relationships with students.   I forgot that assessments and tests and grading were not our only role as educators.  My classroom turned into something that I wasn’t proud of anymore. Was I doing a good job teaching the material?  Sure. But I was focusing so much on teaching the material that I was forgetting other essential parts to teaching. 

A few years later, the fog began to lift, and I regained control of the type of teacher I wanted to be. I started to attend some professional development opportunities that changed the teacher I had become back into the teacher I was previously. I started to “find my tribe,” as they say, and discover  teachers who were like-minded.  I had a whole new world opened to me through the RAISE program   (Reading Apprenticeship in Secondary Education) and through attending Nerd Camp.  I became addicted to twitter and the opportunities it provided.  I realized that I needed to focus much more on skills and less on dumping curriculum down kids’ throats.  I realized that the relationships in my classroom would be better the more I could joke and laugh and be creative again. 

Now, I’ve made it to year 11 and school starts in just a few weeks. I conquered the 7 year itch.  Not only did I conquer it, I destroyed it.  I am not just the teacher I once was; I am the best teacher I have ever been.  My only hope is that I continue to grow and improve and to become a better teacher each and every year.