My Students Are Tired

Disclaimer: I am pretty much the furthest thing from a poet or creative writer that you could imagine. However, somewhere between the January doldrums, studying poetry, and my students' decreasing motivation, this poem came to me. Hope you (somewhat?) enjoy. 

We are Tired

It is January and we are tired.

Tired of the cold, the slush,

the salt that stains the floors, and our shoes, and our cars.

Tired of the incessant work that never goes away,

but rather seems to just keep piling on.

Tired of the mental stress, the decisions:

What is my future going to look like? Where am I going next? What's in store for me?

Tired of the teachers wanting more, parents wanting more,

everyone wanting more than I can continue to give.

But we know that being tired now will pay off in the long run.

We know that our hard work and our resilience and our grit is all worth it.

Because we know that in the end,

we will be successful, even if we are tired.

A New Year, a New Post, and New Hopes

Well...here we go again!  Another school year has officially started and my head is already spinning with all sorts of ideas and goals I have for the upcoming year.  First and foremost, my goal is to WRITE MORE on this blog!  Last year was pretty pathetic (I think I did 2 posts...yikes!) so I really need to step up my game this year.  

Speaking of goals, one of the first activities I did with both my 9th graders and my seniors focused on goals.  With my seniors, I always have them create a goal sheet of what they want their life to look like for this year and beyond.  I've now been doing this so long, that I even have former students discuss with me how their life turned out similar to or nothing like their goal sheet. (Sick confession: I actually made one of these in high school and STILL have it! #paperhoarder) With my 9th graders, I started doing an activity I have called "My Hope..."  One of my twitter friends posted this inspirational  video about how both teachers and students have similar hopes at the beginning of the year.  I show my students the video and then give them a little pep talk about how they are starting off the year with a clean slate and they can make their year whatever they want it to be.  Then, they write their hopes or goals for the year. I love the tone it sets to begin the year, showing how we all really want what's best.

So in addition to the activity, I thought I would post my hopes for the school year here as well.  Let's hope (see what I did there?) I achieve some of these.

My hope is that this year will allow me to bring back more of my joy in teaching.  Last year I lost much of it due to multiple reasons and I hope to revive it this year.

My hope is that I will be able to be both an excellent teacher and a happy, balanced person who is also a good mother and wife.  Often times it seems that both cannot exist. 

My hope is that my students will learn from me.  Of course I want them to learn things having to do with reading and writing, but I want them to learn so much more than that.  I hope they learn life lessons they will carry with them. I hope they learn about compassion, empathy, hard work, and that being a good person pays off.

My hope is that my students will feel loved.  By me, by other teachers/adults in our building, and also by someone at home.

My hope is that my students will take risks. I hope they can do this in order to allow themselves to have the best year possible and not worry about what others think of them.  

My hope is my students understand that I can have high expectations of them but also be supportive at the same time.

My hope is that I will spend less time writing comments on papers and more time conferencing about them with students.  This is where the true magic happens.

My hope is that I won't be doing all the talking/working/reading and that my students will be active, productive members of my class.

My hope is that we will get up and move more.  Whether it be out of our seats, down the hallway, or even out of our building. 

My hope is to connect more without the outside world via our reading, writing, and speaking. 

My hope is that students know that I'm not perfect, I will make mistakes, but that I really try hard to do right by them.

 My hope is that I don't forget, as I once did, to have fun and laugh with students.  If this isn't happening, then what the heck is the point?

My hope is for a wonderful year.  And I hope this for you as well!

Hash Browns and Happiness

It's been a rough past few weeks for me at work. I've had some absences due to health, have had a tremendous load of grading and work, and have just been overwhelmed.  Fast forward to second hour Friday. When my AP students asked if they could bring in some breakfast snacks while we watched Act III of Hamlet, I had no idea what they were planning. They brought skillets, griddles, and toasters and had a full-out breakfast buffet complete with pancakes, hash browns, and eggs! They were even dressed the part, with chef hats fashioned out of paper towel and aprons. They blew me away with all their planning and work! It's my wonderful students that keep me going and doing what I do.  I'm pretty darn lucky to work with such amazing young people.💗 It's moments like these that allow me to forget the stress and realize the good things about my job. #proudtoteach #mountienation1617

Oh and one small note: potatoes are still way better than hash browns. #sorrynotsorry

How English Teachers are Killing Students' Love of Reading and Why They Need to Stop

Each year, I have students do a reading history for my class, where they go through some of the highlights and lowlights of their journey as a reader.  After years of doing this assignment, there are a few things that stand out to me.  The first is that at some point in their lives, students loved to read.  This usually centers around trips to the library with mom, or reading Dr. Seuss in bed with dad, or even having a kindergarten or 1st grade teacher expose them to a book that they fell in love with.  It is wonderful to see students take a trip down memory lane and remember some of the things they enjoyed about reading.  The second thing that stands out is that for the VAST majority of students, their love of reading somehow got killed along the way. And you know who's responsible?  English teachers.

I know what you're thinking.  Why and how would ENGLISH teachers be the ones who are killing students' love of reading?  Aren't they the ones who would teach kids to love it?  And the answer is yes.  Yes, they are the ones who want to foster a love for reading, and yes, most of them do just the opposite.  These well-meaning book worms are employing practices they think are beneficial for students'reading, but in all actuality they are pushing students away from it. I sat through presentations and discussions and I heard the same things over and over again that killed students' love of reading:  reading logs...leveled reading...AR testing...reading boring books in class. As one after another student spoke, these points continued to come up.  And sure, there were a few kids that liked AR testing because they were REALLY good at it and got prizes.  But for every one of those kids who liked it, there were 5 who said it made them not like reading because they could no longer read the books they liked.  Or they felt pressured to read certain books.  Or they were embarrassed about their reading level.  I could go on and on. (By the way...I've yet to hear ANY student say anything positive at all about reading logs)

So, here's what I do.  I tell them up front that in my class, there will be no reading logs. There will also be no STAR or AR testing.  They will not have certain levels of books they are allowed to read. In my class, there is one goal for choice reading: that they find a book that they can enjoy and they read.  That's it.  As I tell them this, I begin to see the students' demeanor relax.  I begin to see hope in their faces, as they think that maybe they will be able to enjoy reading again.  They then reflect on their past year of reading and set goals for themselves as readers.  You know what's amazing?  ALL of these students have the same goals I have for them: to become a better reader, to read more books than the year before, to find a book they really enjoy.  If each student could achieve 1 goal for the year, I know they would be better off. 

Is my system perfect?  No.  Are there still flaws in it.  Certainly.  But, I am heading toward my goal, which is to continue to strive to rebuild students' love for reading, one student and one book at a time. 

A New Perspective

My students are amazing individuals. They go through lots of ups and downs.  They each have their own sets of heartaches, and hurts, and happinesses. They are forced to deal with  so much..deaths, family issues, divorce, abuse, relationships, friendships, peer pressure, body image, depression, health issues...and are still expected to show up every single day, ready to learn.

This year, I decided to stray from the normal character analysis I do 1st term.  Actually, I decided to stray from the whole formalized essay all together, and instead, I allowed my students do a creative writing piece, written in a mosaic-type format, similar to that of The House on Mango Street.   As an English teacher who has focused primarily on formal informational/analytical type writing, this was a difficult shift. I have never taught creative writing before! I had to let go of control.  I had to let go of formality. Heck, I even had to let go of proper grammar and sentence structure. 

However, I am so glad I did it. I was absolutely blown away with what my students produced.  I have always thought of my students as people first and I try and remember that my class is only a portion of their very complex lives.  But, reading these gave me an even better sense of who they are.  It was like looking through a camera lens and being able to see snapshots of each of their lives. Writing these showed a lot of vulnerability.  Many students opened up to me (and their peers) and trusted us with some pretty deep stuff.
(For more information on the assignment, go here )

They were so good, in fact, that I asked a few of them if I could share their writing so that you all could have the same privilege I have had in reading these. Not all of them said yes, but some did.  I promised they would remain anonymous.  Here are a three different students' pieces:

Baby Rattlers

Mommy doesn’t sleep. I always sleep near her, and she doesn’t sleep. My rest is bombarded by her midnight missions. She prances across the carpet. A confused slur of urgency. I am sensitive to her movements. Every impression on the floor stirs me. Mommy always goes to find her purse.  Why does she need her purse at this hour? She is not leaving. She pinky swore she wouldn't leave. Sometimes I think she is spitting all her dreams into the crevices of that purse, because she never sleeps, they must go somewhere. She has to release all of the unconscious energy somehow.

I hear her shaking baby rattlers. I don’t understand. I hear her drop a tic tac on the kitchen floor. Mommy always has candy with her. She keeps candy in orange bottles that my adolescent fingers cannot open. She doesn’t share. Sometimes I know she is eating too much candy because she vomits. I know she tries not to wake me. Mommy thinks I sleep through the rattlers.

She makes her way back. And every step is deafening to me. I know she is not asleep, but her mind is in another place. Sometimes her eyes are closed. I know mommy always tries to be quiet, she does. But her words are slippery, and I don’t know who she’s talking to. No one else seems to hear her at night. Only me, I am alone. I try to ignore what she does at night, but I can’t pry my brown eyes that look like hers, off of mommy. She sits up all night and swats at the air. Mommy is silly. I think she sees fruit flies behind her eyelids. I think she hears voices that speak in a language that only she comprehends.

I just want Mommy to sleep, and wake in the morning.

If Scales Could Speak

         “Age is just a number,” said someone who feels old. “I’m vertically challenged.” Said someone who feels too short. However, if a scale could speak, the numbers would be a foreign language, translated to say too much, or too little. Scales are like the new exchange student, and their interpreters are peoples doctors and nurses. Their job, is to take whatever the scale said and make us understand it. Sometimes they even have to take whatever was said bluntly, and make it socially acceptable. Doctors do it all the time. Lay down the facts, sprinkle on a sugar coat, and the cycle repeats. “Well, your weight is above the range it should be for your age so we’ll put you on this”. But what we all here is, "You're fat, let's try to make you normal." As if a bottle of pills can repair the damage that’s already been done by staring at the numbers between my feet. So like a typical “moody” teen girl. I just put in my headphones so that I can listen to a language that I actually understand: Music.

Sunday

This time it was four months, and we went out again. It was Sunday. Early evening. You look beautiful, he says looking at the braided updo my mother helped me with and looking at the earrings he bought me the previous day and looking at my eyes. The green eyes that he tells me he loves. We walked to the restaurant. He held the door for me. Holding hands and having an actual conversation. Why did we ever worry about not being normal? Why did I always reject him? Why did I chase around the other boys who only cared about looks and popularity? Why did I think I was lonely and that nobody loved me, when there had always been someone there? The boy in the background who was rejected by the girl of his dreams time after time, but still waited for her. On that one Sunday evening, I realized that he was perfect. He was perfect for me, not only for looks or for a relationship status, but for friendship. I realized, this is my best friend. I realized, I love him.

A Beautiful Gift

Today was a happy day.  My 2 kids and I were able to spend a few hours visiting with 2 of my former students who took time out of their busy schedules to hang out with us.  In addition to great company and lots of laughs, they also brought me a gift...Starbucks, a coffee mug, and some chocolates, which were so appreciated. Today, I truly got the most beautiful gift and the best gift EVER!                                                                                                                               

But, the best gift I received wasn't the coffee or the adorable mug (which I am so excited to use by the way). Rather, it was the company of these 2 amazing ladies whom I am still close with today. It was knowing that somehow, someway I had enough of an impact (or still do have an impact in their lives) that they would want to take time out of their winter break to visit with an old teacher...an old teacher who makes them talk about school, and reading, and classes, of all things!  I am so blessed to have these former students and others still in my life.

I am a high school teacher, so in my 11 years of teaching, I have received very few tangible gifts.  Maybe a homemade treat thrown my way, or a box of chocolates here or there. But, I have received an immeasurable amount of gifts of kinds words and and gratitude from students. Such as:

My 9th graders who tell me they have never liked an English class before until having mine.

A 10th grader who stops by and tells me he misses my class, even though he barely passed and I assumed he couldn't stand it. 

A freshman who tells me that I'm the first teacher who's ever gotten her to read (and even like!) a book.

My former students who thank me for the help on the AP test when the receive their scores...even though they were the ones that truly did the work!

A senior I no longer have who tells me she was so glad she had me junior year.

A senior who thanks me for helping them with their college essays when they get into the college of their choice.

A graduating senior who asks to take a picture with me on graduation and tells me I was her favorite teacher. 

My many former students who come back and tell me that they feel extremely well prepared in college.  

The random emails, facebook messages, or tweets I get when a student sees a grammar error and just can't help cringe after going through Mrs. Soper's grammar boot camp. :)

A former student who tells me they admire me as more than just a teacher, but as a person.

The former student who tells me that I was one of the people that helped in her recovery from self-harm. 

My former students who donate books to help build my classroom library.

The former student who tells me that one of my favorite books, which he hated at first, inspired him to meet the author!

When my former students come back to talk to my classes.

The former students who ask me to have drinks or even buy me a shot (yes, it's true) when I'm out. 

And finally, my former student who told me that my words had helped him through a tragedy.

I am a high school teacher.  I do not receive many gift cards, or candles, or coffee mugs, or cookies.  Instead, I receive much much more.  I receive the gift of watching these students turn into beautiful adults, and sometimes, if I'm lucky, they acknowledge my help somewhere along the way.

What Makes for a Fabulous Day in Teacher World?

Teaching is not easy, and although I love my job, I often come home feeling exhausted and sometimes upset, even on the good days.  But somehow, someway, today was just the most perfectly fabulous teacher day ever.  So, what made it so great? Here are a few things.

1. My students were engaged.  

Students work on gallery walk 

I simply have a great group of students this trimester.  Combine that with interesting lessons or topics, and sometimes the heavens just open up and all seems right in the classroom.  Today, my 9th graders did a gallery walk using quotes from To Kill a Mockingbird and pictures representing the Great Depression.  My AP students had an awesome discussion on Beloved  and the use of prose techniques that left me giddy with all of their wonderful insight.  

One finished piece of gallery walk work

2. My former students contacted me

For some reason, today it worked out that I had quite a few former students stop by and visit.  These aren't students who've graduated, just ones who no longer have me and wanted to say hi. Sometimes they seem to forget who I am the minute they walk out my classroom at the end of those 12 weeks, but today I felt the love.  I also have been in contact with some of my graduates and it is so rewarding to hear how well they are doing as they complete their first semester of college.

3. I was told I was a good teacher.  

I had a couple guests in my classroom today and both told me I was a good teacher.  It's amazing how little we hear that and how awesome it feels when we do.

4. I had meaningful Professional Development Time with colleagues.  

Although we work with 50 other teachers in our building, it's actually rare that we get to talk to many of them!  It's also rare that we get PD of our own choice and interest during the school day.  Today, we were fortunate enough to have the amazing Alaina Sharp from the Jackson ISD come in and provide us with a Tweet and Eat.  Teachers learned more about Twitter and also had delicious food.  It left me feeling rejuvenated, just like when I go to a conference.  And did I mention the food was delicious?

Our Tweet and Eat lunch...and yes, that's a photo bomb by Mrs. Hoffbauer. 

5. I was given resources for my classroom.

Not only did Alaina deliver some great PD today (and food...did I mention the food?), she also came and gifted me some books from her former classroom. Words cannot express how much it means to me to receive book donations when I have been saving, scrimping, and budgeting as I try and decide what books to buy next for my classroom.  Since we do not get a budget for things like choice novels, I have to use my own money, and lately I've been spending too much on books.  How wonderful to be given materials for my students in a time where resources are so scarce!  And when I told a couple students in my 5th hour that I had some new graphic novels, they couldn't wait to dig into the box, which made it all the more exciting for me.

What's interesting about these 5 things is that they all seem like relatively simple and small acts. But, these types of things can make all the difference in a day, a week, a career, even.  How can we allow teachers to be supported, valued, and given the resources to create more and more fabulous days in teacher world?